It must be something to be the center of a narrative for SOOOOO long, that when “the other” starts to ask for a little more visibility, you pitch a colossal temper tantrum like a three-year-old girl. So is the story of the CIS-gendered, Christian, white male in America today, pretty much since that black family happened in 2008. The tantrum was and continues to be so severe, these men — most of whom are poor and working class — actually put a Trump in office who is the antithesis of their economic and healthful well-being. But hey, he’s a “man’s, man” which essentially means being a womanizer, anti-academia, anti-logic, anti-kale, and pro cowboy sh*t. But enough about Emperor Nero. This is about Mark Sahady who is planning, along with three other bros to have a straight pride parade in Boston. Did he learn nothing from the fiasco that was Seattle’s “Straight Pride” parade from a few years ago? It goes without saying that he got ripped apart via the interwebs, including the marvelous clap-backs from the link above. I don’t have much time to dedicate to this idiocy, but I wanted to add a couple of thoughts of my own on this “event”.

What the Boston Straight Pride Parade means to me:

  1. Bunch of dudes perpetually arguing over Pardon the Interruption
  2. Same as Gay Pride parade except awful
  3. A color palette theme of brick, camouflage and “repressed” piss yellow
  4. Bros planning events to prove and then admire the most well-endowed among them (Did I mention the “repressed” piss yellow?)
  5. I thought the quintessential “straight” pride parade was every weekend when Brad and friends are escorted out of the local pub for fighting over who’s QB “gave it to” the “Tight End” in a “spread offense” the best. Hey wait a minute… [innuendo]
  6. A bunch of dudes who ever really only wanted to be at the bottom of the pile anyway
  7. Pretty sure literally every single other parade you can name not specifically called gay pride IS a friggin’ straight pride parade